Wednesday, 18 April 2012


It has recently hit the newspapers that our current president Baba Jacob Zuma is about to marry his six wife during the course of the next week. There are many opinions that been broad casted by people concerning polygamy.
What I am about to say is totally my own opinion and I feel I should say this before I post my thoughts so that we can all be on the same page here and respect what i have to say.
My grandfather from my mother side had four wives, on my fathers side my grandfather has three wives. My parents were raised in a polygamous environment and when they all come together with their brothers and sisters it becomes one big family.
Doing my research when I asked my grandmother how she felt about marrying a man who had three wives already?
She told me she loved my grandfather and he would always treat her like she was the only one ."He gave me all the love and support i have ever wanted. I have never met a man who had so much respect for a women like your grandfather. We have raised 10 children together and still be happy."
When i see my mothers siblings and half siblings come together you would swear they all come from one mother and father. When one is in need they all come together and fix the problem, to them they are still brothers and sisters no matter what .
My mother would always tell me that my grandfather would always tell the they are all brothers and sister, despite that they don't have one mother, they are blessed to have such a large family. To him they all have one blood flowing through their veins.
When I see all my grandfathers wives sitting together in their 80's and 90's you would think they are sisters. They have that unity, that diversity, that respect for one another, there is no jealousy, no insecurities.
Could it be that this is why the rate of HIV/aids is so high that people are not so honest as our ancestors were? I mean by marrying all of them you are telling other men that "these are my women and you cant come in my territory? hahahahahaha this is so funny as i type but different thoughts come into mind.
What people do not understand that when it comes to polygamy a man does not marry a second wife
 without informing them rest of his family, including the current wives. it also does not mean that he loves his current wives less. We say we live in a democratic country but there is still so much dissemination especially when it comes to the polygamy issue. I mean if a man is able to provide for all his wives who the hell are you to judge? you are not there when hes  with his other wives, you do not know the kind of love and support that he gives them all. you know the saying you cannot judge until you have experienced it. it only becomes an issue when he neglects some of the wives and pays attention to the other or is able to maintain them all financially. having many wives means your pocket also goes deep. $$$$$$$$
when  my grandfather passed  away years ago ,  not once did my grandmother decide to get married,again. that to me shows that even when a person has died they still in love with them and respect them.
polygamy is not something of the past that was done with our forefather , it is part of a culture, my culture. I'm a Zulu women and very proud of the things that come with being Zulu women.
it comes down to asking is it possible to love more than one person at the same time? to me yeah. people have different personalities so what you see in one you may not find in another.
on the other hand my father has one wife my mom, hahaha when i asked him why he never had a second wife he simply said no women has ever been able to top my mom. hahaha if there was he would have made her his wife. they have been married for over 25years and still going strong, big up to them!

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