Wednesday, 25 April 2012

relax... take it easy!

Good morning,
Lying in bed thinking about how my day will turn out today.
Each day I do the same thing. I wake up and say my prayers and start the day.
Later to night I will be taking a trip for the long weekend ahead. I will be going to Durban to clear off and will be my families last stage to say goodbye to my brother.
Many people use different methods to keep them calm and relaxed. I have a friend who meditates on a regular basis so that they feel balanced, some people would usually take a day off and relax at home.
I wAs once told that sex helps in keeping a person balance. But unfortunately I don't have my dark chocolate to do that and make me happy. I recently took a trip to the drakensburg mountains ,there I had fun and got time to relax for the first time in years. During that weekend away it made me realise that one should always take time off no matter how busy they are to keep them from loosing it. So as the long weekend approaches I say to you have a good one. Drive safe for those going away. Stay warm in this cold weather. Use whatever means you use to help you relax weather is havin sex or meditating or relaxing on that sofa so that by the time week comes you ready and refreshed to face the world.
boss lady.

Dear death

Dear death,
who are you ,where do you come come?
You take away the ones that we love the most and leave the ones we dread. you have recently taken my brother. I still try to trace back what happened when you came knocking at my families door, it feels like yesterday when i walked pass his coffin to say my last goodbyes.
why did you creep in the middle of the night and scared my family like that?
why did you take away the opportunity of my children ever having an uncle.
he had so much to live for but you saw him and liked him.
but who are you death? we pray you leave us alone but you manage to slip through the door and take away a loved one.
my mother hasn't been the same since you came. she cries in the middle of the night when she thinks we are not around but i hear her cries.
i ask her whats wrong but she tells me its nothing deep down knowing that she misses her son.
why is it that life gives us someone to love but than take them away when they feel like it?
is it possible to live a life without loving anyone so that when its time for them to go we don't feel so much pain?
if death hasn't knocked at your door he will some time in your life, its part of the human journey.
i miss you till today,especially when my days are down because to you i was always your little sister.
lala kahle hlomuka,nigyakukumbula. siyobonana kwelinye ilizwe.


This is one of my most frustrating days so instead of bottling it up let me share.
I'm the kind of person that whenever a family or friend is in need I would literally drop my shit and go help them.
I value friendship and family a lot because you never know when you might need them.
Waking up today I realised my nanny couldn't come to work. Heaven knows for some fucked up reason. I had to put my day on hold because my kid had no sitter.
What people don't understand is that I'm nice but when I see that you fucked up I drop you and move on.
Asking around I couldn't find her a sitter. To some point the way I was so desperate I was evn planning on taking to her campus with me and me and my friends would take turns looking after her. Lol crazy I know.
Than I received an email from my boss that needed clarification cause I was so clueless and had to respond immediately but when I asked the people who I knew would help me they were busy. N sum didn't even understand the meaning of urgent. But anyhow I tend not to vent cos I'm not that kind of a person. Maybe being a nice person makes n gives people that thing to walk all over you?
You know I prefer a person who can tell me upfront that I won't do it. That I call being honest.
Does being nice mean that you will end up doing shit for them but when you in need they won't?
Oh well, I guess I'm a typical sagitarious. Too trusting n humble. Lol lol.

Have a good day.

Saturday, 21 April 2012

To Get To The Top, You Must Start @ The Bottom

I wont bullshit you in high school i was never the smart kid. I hated being in the classroom but had to be there because my parents forced me to be there.
I was more of the sport fan at school. I was part of the 1st team netball and head of the cheer leading team.
It took a lot to get me through school but i managed to get through it.
After high school i decided to register at the university i am currently attending to obtain my degree in Journalism and media studies.
I decided to take journalism because i was never serious person in life and adventure was my second name.
During the course of my first year at varsity i was faced with so many ups and downs that even when i look back i never believe that it was me that made it through that. Due to stress levels and not being able to cope like any varsity student i partied hard hoping that it would get better but it got worse.
I had a mentor by the name of Andre who asked me one day if i wanted to to be an intern at the media company he worked for.
i was very sceptical at first but gave it a go.. had nothing else to loose.
On arrival i was shown the ropes of how the real journalism world operates. I was so excited but i knew this was definitely the career i wanted. Even if it meant running errands for the bosses i told myself i would do it just to get to the top .
This was during the June holidays. I started off by answering calls at the media company and taking down notes for the other senior journalist .
Each day i was taught something new. I sacrificed my holidays to be an intern that i had no idea where it would take me.
A moth after my intern at the company the editor called me to his desk and asked me if i would be able to handle a finally i was given a story, but wait how do i write a story? what questions do i ask?
my hands were so sweaty i could feel my blood pressure increase. i still remember my first article that was published in one of the most selling newspapers in South Africa , on the 4 July 2008.
After the holidays it was time to go back to school. I was so determined to work hard at school because i wanted t be a writer. i wanted to be a journalist no matter what. i worked hard at school,made sure all my school work was submitted. The year was finally over and i had to take a decision to either go to Grahamstwon or stay in JHB. I decided to go to Grahamstown and spent a year there learning IR. I had this idea that i wanted to have a journalistic and political insight with me so i did that.
after spending a year in Grahamstown i found out i was pregnant as i was in a committed relationship but it a stage in life where allot happened and made me fall back on my studies.
i dropped out of school and packed my bags and came back home because i needed my family more than ever.
i went back to the media company and did some freelancing and within a couple of months they offered me contract at the company. so i decide to work because i had a child i had to feed now.
although my parents were disappointed they still stuck by me through it all and kept promising me that all will be okay this is just a small  hurdle that one goes through in life.
end of 2010 my mother gave me forms to go back to school.
i was so ashamed and embarrassed that how would people look at me,that my parents send me to school to get   a degree and i come back with a baby but no degree.
i was scared but my mother told me there is no point in having a job but no degree , you are not the first one to have a baby and you are not the last. you will achieve great just keep your head up high.
So i registered at school and went back to doing my second year.
During the middle of my second year my work started to interfere with my school work and my marks were decreasing.
it was had being a mother, a student, and a career women.
i had to make a really hard decision that it was either i quite working and have no degree or i put working on hold and finish my studies.
my parents decided to take my daughter so that i could focus on school.
through the grace of God i completed my second year.
i was sad that i had no income now and i was so used to being independent to living off my parents but i still kept my head high up .
its 2012 now and I'm in third year .the last year of my degree . in the beginning of the year i don't know how many cvs i sent to so many company's looking for a job. i prayed , i knocked on every door possible but had no luck . inside me i had even given up hope that it was the end of me.
I was noting but a student.
One day i received a call from a women who told me she got my contacts from a friend . she asked me for forward her my portfolio. i had no hope because that is something i had heard before and did not believe it but i just sent it.
months went by and one day while i was in class i received a sms saying that this certain company would like me to come down to cape town to work for them.
i had no idea what kind of magazine it was but i just said yes.
over the past few weeks i decided to google the company and to my shocking face i realised that it was a magazine i had always dreamt about being part off.
so guys the purpose of this blog is to show you that things happen for some fucked up reason but only GOD knows why he gives you such.
in order to get to where you want to be you must start at the bottom. nobody said the road would be easy but you need to keep your head up and keep pushing.
next year  i move to Cape Town to start my dream job.
i still think I'm dreaming but guess what i made it and im still going to ,make it. all the way to the top.



Sitting with my girls on a daily basis we talk about "women stuff" as we put it to men. It starts of on how life is treating us, than we move onto the problems that we are faced with as women, than we get to the sex life we faced with in our lives and the men we have.
If every man could sit in on a women's hang out session i think there wouldn't be so many relationships with problems.
A chill session is not a chill session without some Savannah's. It helps ease our nerves and calm us from what ever the topic is.
Today's questions i asked them, is there something as prince charming or most people would put it ,is there something as Mr right?
I have never expected a man to fulfil my requirements but at least he has to have some of them. fair enough?
We all have our expectations as women some are too far fetched some are reasonable. I have chosen not to put my friends names due to privacy.
Friend A
This friend states that he has to be tall, dark, has to have a paying job, good sense of style, soft lips,loving,caring,funny and God fearing.
someone that can make me laugh,take care of me,protect me, looks good and is serious when needed to be.

Friend C
Friend  C was very simple in her description of her perfect man. she simply said the man must know how to give me good loving. the sex has to great. "there is nothing that pisses me off than having sex with a man who only cares about his own orgasm and not about how i am feeling" she put it.
we all laughed out loud after hearing this but we all agreed.
This  friend of mine has been known not for having dating one man. shes had two men in her life and has been like that ever since.
when i asked her why she does that she said she does not do well in relationships. commitment has just been something she cannot do and she has tried but not succeeded . its not because i am acting like a loose women but because i have tried it but have never worked out. why have Mr right if i can have them all? lol
When the table had turned to me they asked me , What do i expect a man to have.........
i froze for a min because i needed to have the correct words for this.
My friends laughed when it was my turn to describe my prince charming.
i like my men dark! lol dark chocolate i call it.
he has to know to and when to kiss me.(jiucy lips) there has never been  a guide to how a man should kiss but there has always been that thing that shows him how to kiss me.
I like a man who looks good in what he dresses himself in. i am a mother so i wouldn't date a man who hangs his pants down all the way to his ass as though hes going through a midlife crisis.
i am a very bootylicious women and i like a man who can appreciate all this yummy meat i have surrounding my hips. lol
he has to smell good. theres nothing that turns a women on than how a man smells. its not a large criteria to fit but my friends tell me I'm very fussy.
I like having fun so he has to up for whatever crazy idea i have.

I enjoy having such great friends who are so diverse because i learn something new each day .
so when all of our criteria was put together we made a list of what we think Mr perfect should be.
so i still  ask is there such thing as prince charming or the perfect man?????????

Wednesday, 18 April 2012


It has recently hit the newspapers that our current president Baba Jacob Zuma is about to marry his six wife during the course of the next week. There are many opinions that been broad casted by people concerning polygamy.
What I am about to say is totally my own opinion and I feel I should say this before I post my thoughts so that we can all be on the same page here and respect what i have to say.
My grandfather from my mother side had four wives, on my fathers side my grandfather has three wives. My parents were raised in a polygamous environment and when they all come together with their brothers and sisters it becomes one big family.
Doing my research when I asked my grandmother how she felt about marrying a man who had three wives already?
She told me she loved my grandfather and he would always treat her like she was the only one ."He gave me all the love and support i have ever wanted. I have never met a man who had so much respect for a women like your grandfather. We have raised 10 children together and still be happy."
When i see my mothers siblings and half siblings come together you would swear they all come from one mother and father. When one is in need they all come together and fix the problem, to them they are still brothers and sisters no matter what .
My mother would always tell me that my grandfather would always tell the they are all brothers and sister, despite that they don't have one mother, they are blessed to have such a large family. To him they all have one blood flowing through their veins.
When I see all my grandfathers wives sitting together in their 80's and 90's you would think they are sisters. They have that unity, that diversity, that respect for one another, there is no jealousy, no insecurities.
Could it be that this is why the rate of HIV/aids is so high that people are not so honest as our ancestors were? I mean by marrying all of them you are telling other men that "these are my women and you cant come in my territory? hahahahahaha this is so funny as i type but different thoughts come into mind.
What people do not understand that when it comes to polygamy a man does not marry a second wife
 without informing them rest of his family, including the current wives. it also does not mean that he loves his current wives less. We say we live in a democratic country but there is still so much dissemination especially when it comes to the polygamy issue. I mean if a man is able to provide for all his wives who the hell are you to judge? you are not there when hes  with his other wives, you do not know the kind of love and support that he gives them all. you know the saying you cannot judge until you have experienced it. it only becomes an issue when he neglects some of the wives and pays attention to the other or is able to maintain them all financially. having many wives means your pocket also goes deep. $$$$$$$$
when  my grandfather passed  away years ago ,  not once did my grandmother decide to get married,again. that to me shows that even when a person has died they still in love with them and respect them.
polygamy is not something of the past that was done with our forefather , it is part of a culture, my culture. I'm a Zulu women and very proud of the things that come with being Zulu women.
it comes down to asking is it possible to love more than one person at the same time? to me yeah. people have different personalities so what you see in one you may not find in another.
on the other hand my father has one wife my mom, hahaha when i asked him why he never had a second wife he simply said no women has ever been able to top my mom. hahaha if there was he would have made her his wife. they have been married for over 25years and still going strong, big up to them!

Friday, 13 April 2012


As we grow we never get the time to reflect on our lives and the things that have happened to us to realise that we are much stronger than we tend to think of ourselves....well that's what has been happening to me lately.
A month ago i was in a situation where i was left hurt , broken, angry, disappointed frustrated and any other sad words you could think  of. I have always heard that the pain of being accused by someone you love dearly is more painful when you know you did not do the wrong deed than when you actually did commit the "crime"
BUT anyway back to the topic, i had lost my self esteem and made me loose myself.
I have always been a strong believer of God but when i saw what he did for me i truly believed that he is an amazing man.
During my lent time of fasting i decided to change my life around and stopped feeling sorry for myself. i got up and dusted myself off and started a journey that has made me the DIVA i am today.
Many call it big headed, some say you annoying, some say you think you all that, over confident,too big for your shoes,your have attitude............
 I call it being your own DIVA and taking control of your life.
When someone tells you how useless you are look them in the eyes and say SO WHAT! and prove them wrong.
I have realised that if you tell yourself you are not great or look down on yourself than that is how society will treat you  but if you walk tall and put your head up high even when you know that your world is crumbling down watch how people will worship the ground you walk on.
Everyday since i have started bringing out my inner DIVA i wake up and make sure i look so sexy and have the confidence i want because if you look great you feel great.
Did you realise that each day you live once and will never have the opportunity to do it again? that is why most people live with what if this, what if that in their lives.
I have stopped being the follower and started being the leader and setting my own trend. be proud of Who you are and embrace it.
I had a child at the tender age of 21 but guess what I'm dame proud of who i am. many would say i have messed up my future but the they don't its only the beginning of going to the top.
Going straight ahead!! life is like riding a bike to keep balance you must move forward.
I am one person who never holds grudges . I  was hurt but i forgave. a couple of days ago Mr. president Baba Zuma was celebrating his 70th  birthday and was ask does he do it to look so good at his age? He answered the journalists by saying I'm humble, i don't hold on to the past or dwell on things that will make me unhappy. people who hold grudges and are constantly mad their hearts even up getting wrinkled and the tend to grow old fast but those who embrace, love ,appreciate what life has to bring for them live a longer life.
Thank you Mr president for your words of wisdom.
So when you see me walking on the street with my hair down and in heels walking like own the world when of course i do own my world, with my sun glasses don't be shocked its cause I'm walking to walking towards my future ,its so bright that i have to wear sun glasses to see it.
Remember when you choose to forgive those who have hurt you , you take away their power.
you wont win in life with people who fight with you . When you stop fighting with people god comes in a fights for you.
If your feeling stuck in life, lost, dont know what to do or where to go the thing you must do is keep going.!!!
Yes i get that life is not easy but everyday im still surviving.....  im  brilliant! im a DIVA!
When life seems to be at a stand still when your efforts seem useless listen to that little voice in you that keeps saiyng....TRY AGAIN.!

So, when your past calls ,press the ignore has notihng new to say.... go forward

Signing off :