HELLO BONA COPY EDITOR

Hey bloggers,
wow, it's been a minute! A lot has been happening in my life which has kept me off track.
Firstly let me announce that I am the new copy editor of BONA magazine. At the age of 23 I was able to reach an achievement that most people reach later on in their 30's.
It's been a long and dusty road where I would find myself sending cv's everyday but you know the saying God answers us in rows and my turn was coming..... AND IT FINALLY DID!
I have had days where I would cry asking the lord why am I suffering so much as it was difficult being a single mom, but my god never gave up on me.
I thank all my friends and family who have been there for being there for me and giving me the support I needed. to my haters keep hating cause your hatred has got me somewhere leaving you nowhere.
but there's one specific person I want to acknowledge in this my boyfriend.
through it all he's never given up and stuck through it all with me. I remember on the day of my Bona interview he sent me a sms at 4am wishing me all the luck.
there were days where I had nothing and he would take out his last cent to make sure i have whatever I needed, thank you my love.
I must say I am enjoying my new job, although it is hard to juggle both being at school and work not forgetting being a mom to ntokozo lol.
I have grown as a person and my self confidence has gone from 50 to 180. lol
It's been 6 months now and I am loving every bit of this journey at my new company.
I wake everyday with excitement knowing I'm going to do what I love the most.
so I say to those who have not reached their goal, never give up! keep sending and pushing that paper. hard work and patience will pay off.

silence kills ,

Silence Kills lyrics
(Tarsha)
Heard a teacher say
just the other day
how this world is so out of control
but he never said
what he meant to say
is his concerning is on households
he has a way with some
chose to have some fun
worriedly out of character
now he’s scarred for life
how to tell his wife
what he gave her is terminal..

(Chorus)
Out of the darkness and into the light
pride in yourself to make everything right
which path do you chose to take concerning what’s life silence kills, silence kills..

(Anthony)
She lived a quiet life
kept it all inside
she chose to walk alone
had a lonely cry
from the tears she hides
a pain so unbearable
time pass you by, dying deep inside
in hope that no one will know
that being a loving wife
nearly cost her life
the thought of her kids here alone..

(Chorus)
Out of the darkness and into the light
pride in yourself to make everything right
which path do you chose to take concerning what’s life silence kills (repeat)

Oooooohhhhhh..

(Chorus)
Out of the darkness and into the light
pride in yourself to make everything right
which path do you chose to take concerning what’s life silence kills.. (repeat)




Remember When It Rained lyrics
Wash away the thoughts inside
That keep my mind away from you.
No more love and no more pride
And thoughts are all I have to do.

Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
Felt the ground and looked up high
And called your name.
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
In the darkness I remain.

Tears of hope run down my skin.
Tears for you that will not dry.
[| From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/j/josh-groban-lyrics/remember-when-it-rained-lyrics.html |]
They magnify the one within
And let the outside slowly die.

Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
I felt the ground and looked up high
And called your name.
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
In the water I remain
Running down
Running down
Running down
Running down
Running down
Running down
Running down



after earing this song i reaised that really silence kills. we tend to too keep things so bottled up hoping not to hurt the ones we love but instead we hurting ourselves. its amazing how can music say so much but we only understand it once we read the lyircs instead of just listening to the song. life has ups and downs but we fall to make us stronger. never laugh at someone when they fall because you never know when you will fall. the most important thing is that we fall but we also get up and try again. life has taught me alot of things that come with it. that by living a life that pleases others is not infact your life but theirs. if you have a problem or want to voice out your opinions say it i hate keeping things to myself because depression can kill you. God will never give you a task you will not be able to handle. so when life gets you down put God first and listen to some music you will see the wonders it makes on one.

signing out;
Boss Lady

IMBELEKO

"Mbeleko is a ceremony that is conducted after a baby is born. This is an act of detaching the umbilical connection from the mother and introducing the child to the ancestors, imbeleko means the act of giving birth or to carry on your back.

A goat is slaughtered as a sign of sacrifice to the ancestors. The elders of the family normally speak and ask the ancestors to accept, guide and protect the child. This is a common practice in cultures like the Zulu, Xhosa, Kikuyu, Shona, Ashanti and many more.

For imbeleko a goat must be slaughtered as a sacrifice to the ancestors (a goat is always slaughtered for a feast that involves talking to the ancestors), and the family elder responsible for talking to the ancestors will call the baby by its name when presenting it to the ancestors at the same time the goat is being slaughtered. Zulus usually carry more than one name, it can be several names given by members of the extended family. Names usually denote the family's expectations and encouragement for a baby; some reflect the family's experiences or how they relate to others in their community, sometimes they tell about the time/how the weather was like when the person was born, and so on. Also common are names that reflect religious beliefs and political beliefs. When doing the ritual the elders will speak to the ancestors and ask them to guide and protect the child."
When my daughter was born, I decided to give her the name Ntokozo which meant happiness. It’s been almost two years now my family decided that it was time for her MBELEKO.
On the 1st July <sup>we invited friends and family to come share this special moment with us. On Saturday morning my dad woke up and went to buy a goat…..I was shocked when he came home and told us that the small goat cost him R2000!!!!!!!
BUT it was worth it. After that we went into emsamo( this is where we usually talk to our ancestors and pray asking for guidance) to start the ceremony.

The goat was taken into the emsamo and incense was burnt with traditional beer. The incense is burnt to connect to the ancestors, the beer is made as a drink for the dead, the candles (white) are lit as a sign that the ancestors to bring good luck and fortune for whatever we are asking from them.

Ntokozo was scared as she had never seen a goat before….but I as her mother the whole weekend had to have my head covered and wore a long dress or skirt as a sign or respect.

My dad went in with the whole family and the goat along with Ntokozo. As he spoke he began by calling all those who have died and our clang names ( izithakazelo)

I must say being Zulu or African is something one must be proud of and not ashamed of our culture.

During that moment my father gave he another name to add onto the one she already has;

So as of that moment her name changed to Ntokozo Zamangwane Khanyile (meaning the happiness of the khanyile family)

The meat is cooked in the traditional way meaning there is no spice or seasoning allowed. We have to eat it boiled with either pap or dumbling as our forefathers had.

After the little ceremony the men got to work and slaughtered the goat.

Leaving the women to wash it and cook it.

Early Sunday morning before the feast begun we had to wake up at 6am to go put on ispandla on our hands. Ispandla is a goat skin that is put around the hand to symbolise that we have had contact with the dead.

On should be proud of it, although it smells I can’t do nothing about it but embrace it.
As Africans we tend to be so embarraced about the kind of cultutres we live by instead of being proud of it. After what I saw this past weekend I must say I m very proud to be a Zulu Diva. 　

　

　

　




　

　

　

　</sup>

DEAR DADDY....

Dear daddy,

You knew me when I was being formed in my mother’swomb and have never left our side ever since.

You have always been there for me, guiding me and being thebest father I could ever wish for. I remember growing up you would attend everyprize giving and sports day with me. Sitting there on those benches showing mesupport from the side line while the sun blazed on you. (Hahaha)

I remember you staying up till late while helping me with mymath’s homework and although you would shout at me telling me that it iswrong you never gave up but stayed with me till I got it right.

Whenever the world was on top of me you came and lifted itoff my shoulders and carried it for me.

I thank god each day for my daddy. I was named Ntombikayise(daddy’s girl) because wherever he was I was there with him. I never lefthis sight.

I remember going to my Matric dance how you would intimidatethe boy that was my partner, asking him questions about where is he from andhis clang surnames………

We fight at times but I does not mean I love you less.

At the age of 65 my dad still rocks my world and will go theends to make his baby girl happy.

Sometimes I wonder why it is so hard for you to let me gobut then I remember I am your last born after all.

When I fell pregnant with Ntokozo you simply said to me allis well my little one, and never left me and your granddaughter’s side.

I see you with Ntokozo everyday playing and I remember thedays I was so small.

I pray every day that the lord keeps you safe with me andfor you to see me graduate and walk me down the aisle on my wedding day.

Today at the age of 24 I am able to sit with you, while youhave your jameson and I have my savannah and talk about life and its moments.

You always say; no man will ever love you the way I do. Sooo true! I have not met a man that gives me the love that you have all these years but I know that he is coming my way soon.



Thank you for being the best dad I could ever wish for!

Love you mkhulu.

Morals of ethics.

It has recently  hit the news about the painting by artist Brett Murray  "The Spear for the first time" The painting is showing President Zuma half naked with his penis in display.
When I first heard the story before even seeing the picture I was shocked that people will go to that extent to show their creativity.
We live in a democratic country where we are free to have a freedom of expression but when does one draw the line to that expression?
In our constitution it says "all are free to have the freedom of expression as long as it does not cause harm to someone else"
In this case it has. President Jacob Zuma says he was “shocked, and felt personally ­offended and violated” when he saw a copy of artist Brett Murray’s painting The Spear for the first time.

The painting, which has divided public opinion in the country, ­depicts him as “a philanderer, a womaniser and one with no ­respect”, says Zuma.

In ethics we are taught that as a journalist we should be able to separate what is private and what is public and in this case his private life was violated. some say when you become president your life turns from being private to being public. That the public deserves to know , BUT in only matters that concerns the public.
I don't think that putting the presidents penis on display is counted as the right for the public to know.
We as the public tend to forget that although he is our president at the end of the day he is someones father.
Imagine if that was your father on that painting.
The freedom you enjoy does not give anyone weather you are rich or poor, black or white, the right or freedom to disrespect others.
The artist  commented by saying that the picture was a way to show corruption and nepotism. WTF????????!!!!!!!
IN what way is showing our presidents penis a way of corruption?
where does the corruption come in here?
In ethics we are taught that the morals and values that you are taught at home,school,and social settings is what makes you who you are. Clearly this guy did not have any of those when he was growing up.
I will not bring up the race card because this has nothing to do with race but UBUNTU!
When i first met the president in 2009 i was excited to go spend a day with him and his family. The first thing my parents told me was remember, although you are a journalist remember you are a child to him and he this is your father. respect him and humble yourself.
In my Zulu culture we are raised in a society that you don't need to be raised by your biological father in order to give another man respect . he is still your father and when approaching him you do not address him by his first name but say baba as a sign  of respect.
Where did those morals of ethics go in our country?
we are so quick to point fingers at the wrongs of others but yet we forget that the one finger you are pointing at someone else you have the other three fingers pointing back at yourself.
Many newspapers we so quick to post the picture as their front pages because they felt it was some way amusing but many others decided that they will not do that .
i would rather leave the story than have my dignity shamed like that.
I  sit and think did the artist think before doing this? what was going through his mind when he did this?
You might not like the president but it gives you no right to show him in that  way. there are other ways to show your frustration.
We forget that this man that people are shaming is the man who is representing our country and if other nations see this what would it say about our country? I know!, other countries will think we have no morals , we are barbarians who have no sense of UBUNTU.
We do not respect others which means we do not respect ourselves.
so to the artist , you have got spot light you wanted, but lost your dignity in the process. i hope you happy.
By me posting this picture I'm not saying in encouraging what is done but simply showing people what bad art work is.
Will Smith once said "Sometimes when you get angry you have the right to be angry ,but it doesn't give you the right to be cruel"  he also said, " People cant change the truth but the truth can change people" I hope the artist goes home to learn some morality.


signing out ;

BOSS LADY

Mother's Day

First I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those who took time to wish me a Happy Mothers Day.
It felt so good to know that there are Friends and family who really care about me and appreciate my motherhood.
From when I woke up in the morning I was welcomed by so many lovely messages.
As a mother I realise that there we usually want to do things alone but we forget that there are people who love us dearly and are always here for us.
Even so shocking Ntokozos dad sent me a message to tell me how he appreciates the mothering I am giving to his daughter and unconditional love.
We might not be getting along but it really touched me I must say.
Being a mother is not easy. You have to be a parent 24hours of your everyday life. There are days where I would feel like I don't feel like being a mom but than I suck it up and love my child. There are days when I come home tired as ever and she would demand attention from me.
There are days where I  would have to yell and it would hurt me more than her.
 To me motherhood is still a learning experience and everyday I learn different things about being a mother.
there would be days where I would sit alone and cry because the world was becoming to heavy for me but than my girl would come and sit on me and put her hands on my face and simply say; mummy! and smile with me as though shes telling me that the world might be bad but you still my mom.
Today brought back memories when I first became a mother to my girl, the first time i held her, the first time i realised that i was a mother.
It was 5 October 2010 Tuesday morning at 8;30 in the theatre room at Parklane Netcare.
I think some people do not realise that giving birth is a line between life and death. For you to being told that you have given birth to a new human being is truly a blessing.
When the doctor first said to me congratulations you have a baby girl I cried tears of joy. People ask me why i named her ntokozo. shes is just my happiness.
I don't think i have ever loved the way i love my daughter. She might drive me mad but hey its motherhood.
 There is not book to tell you how to be the worlds greatest mom it just comes from within.
 When you see a great man remember that there is a women who was there for him every step of the way.
Although i was celebrating being a mother today i was appreciating my own mother.
Thembi khanyile.
My mother is my pillar of strength she is my ying to the yang. No matter what life may bring she was there through it all.
She made sure that i received the best life could bring .
she tells me everyday that zee even though you have a man who loves you and accepts your daughter there is no one who will love you the way your mother loves you. i may yell at you but it is because i love you and want only the best for you.
when i was in labour she was there for me and never left the ward. when i needed a friend she was a mother and held my hand every step of the way.
my mother puts her happiness on hold so that i may get the happiness i want.
my mother wakes up each morning and goes to work to make sure that my tomorrow is possible.
i wish mothers day was everyday that i get to thank her for all the wonderful work she has done for me.
but not everybody had the opportunity to thank their mothers because they had already lost them.
when i kneel down each night I pray to God to keep my mom for me so that i may get that chance to take care of her and show her how much i love her and the hard work she put in me has paid off.
So lets not wait for next years mothers day to tell our mothers how much they  mean to us , let us tell them everyday.

i love you mom!

THE DIESEL , PETROL STORY...

Hi Guys,
Was driving to school the other day and was tuned into a local radio stations morning motivation. This is when everyday at 7 am the motivation speaker comes in a and gives people the word of the day.
I couldn't stop laughing while I was listening to this but also at the same time deep down in  myself I knew what pastor zondo was saying was true.
I blog today because i really would like to share it with you.
As we leave a relationship weather you are male or female we tend to undermine ourselves and loose our self esteems. This happens because one usually wonders why that certain relationship ended.
Well according to Zondo  he says that there is nothing wrong with you . God does not make you this way so that  you will not find love .
For instance if you use diesel in your car you wont go and want to mix diesel and petrol.
Those two do not go hand in hand but diesel and diesel go well.
Same thing with a relationship , you might not click with someone because they are just a diesel and you are the petrol. there is nothing wrong with who you are but the person you decided to mix yourself with.
He states that people can be together for more than 10 years and realise that they are two different things, and they should never blame each other because it took them so long so realise that  they are not fit for each other.
Ever wonder why one guy might not like you or your style but the next guy you meet might be madly in love with you?
Simple its the diesel and petrol thing.
He also stated that to be a hero you need to be a failure first . Nelson Mandela did not be who he is without failing in his life time.

We fail in life so that we get motivated and be stronger at the gift that you will receive next.
So  leave with my short blog today by saying keep your head up. weather you are a diesel or petrol you will find you match. Don't go pouring all kinds of petrol's not knowing that you use diesel.
don't let all sorts of  other diesels destroy your petrol tank because once its damaged it take allot to clean it and make it look new ........


signing out; BOSS LADY